Where everybody knows your name... and Moe pretends not to.
Famous for our signature cocktails, prank call resilience, and the occasional alien sighting in the back room. Live entertainment every weekβassuming the health inspector doesn't visit.
"I'm a well-wisher, in that I don't wish you any specific harm." - Moe Szyslak
π₯ What We Offer
- πΊ Duff Beer - On tap, in bottles, in our hearts
- π₯ Flaming Moes - Secret ingredient definitely NOT cough syrup
- π The Love Tester - Currently stuck on "Cold Fish"
- π΅ Live Entertainment - Every week (quality varies)
β οΈ Warning: Do not ask for Amanda Hugginkiss, Ivana Tinkle, or Jacques Strap.
"We put the 'dive' in 'dive bar,' and we're proud of it."
Where everybody knows your name... and Moe pretends not to.
Famous for our signature cocktails, prank call resilience, and the occasional alien sighting in the back room. Live entertainment every weekβassuming the health inspector doesn't visit.
"I'm a well-wisher, in that I don't wish you any specific harm." - Moe Szyslak
π₯ What We Offer
- πΊ Duff Beer - On tap, in bottles, in our hearts
- π₯ Flaming Moes - Secret ingredient definitely NOT cough syrup
- π The Love Tester - Currently stuck on "Cold Fish"
- π΅ Live Entertainment - Every week (quality varies)
β οΈ Warning: Do not ask for Amanda Hugginkiss, Ivana Tinkle, or Jacques Strap.
"We put the 'dive' in 'dive bar,' and we're proud of it."
About
MONORAIL! MONORAIL! MONORAIL! π
I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and by gum, it put them on the map! πΊοΈ
"Is there a chance the track could bend?" "Not on your life, my Hindu friend!"
π΅ Tonight's Setlist
- π "Monorail" (mandatory opener - crowd participation required)
- πΈ "We Put the Spring in Springfield"
- π§₯ "See My Vest" (fur-free version)
- πͺ "Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart"
Karaoke Rules: π
- π Lyle Lanley impressions get bonus points
- π« Singing with a partner encouraged
- π If Marge objects, we ignore it
What about us brain-dead slobs? You'll be given cushy jobs! πΌ